Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Do you have a pen and paper? OK, ready? Write this down: find the biggest and best 3D theater near you and buy a ticket or two, as movies are best seen with a friend. Why, you ask? Because Transformers: Dark of the Moon (especially seen in IMAX 3D) is the shit! The sound mix alone is worth the price of the ticket. This is a gigantic action film, the best one since the movie about the blue monkeys… you know which one I’m talking about.

Now, full disclosure: I loved the first Transformers movie, and I was a huge fan of the Saturday morning cartoons. I’m sure I even had an action figure or two. Yes, I am that old.

The second Transformers film was a bit disappointing. Did I say a bit? I should change that to something more like: it should have transformed itself into a good movie. But the franchise has more than made up for it with this film, well done director Michael Bay and Executive Producer Steven Spielberg.

There are some changes to casting; I won’t tell you who or why (spoilers), though if you’ve seen the trailers you know the who. As for the why, if you don’t know, let me just say “Welcome to earth,” since obviously you’ve been living on a planet far, far away for the past year if you don’t already know.

There are appearances by well known TV and film personalities for the movie geek and sci-fi buff in all of us. Here are a few: Mr. Chow of Hangover fame, John Malkovich, Bill O’Reilly of Fox’s The Factor for the right wing crowd, and Australia’s Hugo Weaving (and the voice of Mr Smith from The Matrix) as the voice of Megatron. Last but not least, Mr. Spock himself, Leonard Nimoy, delivers the voice of Sentinel Prime – a bit of trivia for the Star Trek faithful.

Ok, now we’ve reached the part where most reviewers would tell you about NASA, the moon landing, President Kennedy, the 60’s, etc. and how they tie into the movie. I won’t. I think that the people who read this review would rather know if the movie is good, and whether should they spend the extra golden coins for the 3D screening over the regular one, etc. All these questions are answered above. You wrote it down, remember?

Another thing I will not do, and I wish all other reviewers would do the same, is give you the movie’s main plot points from start to finish in “drag-you-thru-broken-glass-nude-and- dip-you-in-a pool-of-lime -juice” painful detail. I mean really, if you’re going to do that, then please send me some popcorn and refreshments as well. Did I mention that goes for the trailers as well? Talk about seeing the whole movie in 30 seconds!

The plot tends to run a bit long and after the first two hours I did look at my watch. The final battle scene is a bit overdone, but who can blame Bay for pulling out all the stops at the end? It’s the last and supposedly final installment of the Transformers movies, or so they say. This reviewer suspects we’ll see at least one more trilogy prequel in the years to come.

Look, what you need to know is this: it’s a great PG-13 movie, which means you can take little Timmy and his friends to watch it (if he has not fallen down the well, that is. And if he has, get Lassie to help you find him). It’s a good date flick. Get the extra large popcorn and the giant soft drink as the movie is long, but oh so good!

Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Director: Michael Bay
Writer: Ehren Kruger
Stars: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Tyrese Gibson
Now showing in general release

Visit the Transformers official site for more information